Module 8 - Celebration of Marriage Service

Good Shepherd Church Seminary

Module 8

The Sacred Rites
Celebration of Marriage Service

Objectives; by the end of this Module you should;

1. Have an understanding of the spirituality of the Marriage Service, and 
    the sacred nature of the rite
2. Be able to conduct a marriage service
3. Know where to find resources as priest for the celebration of the
    Marriage Service

CONTENTS;
1.  The Sacred Rite of Marriage
2.  A Natural Institution
3.  Who does the Marrying?
4.  The importance of Marriage
5.  The importance of Monogamy
6.  The venue for the Sacred Rite
7.  The engagement
8.  The ceremony of Marriage
9.  Marriage is a Sacred Rite
10. Differences in Temperament
11. How to conduct a Wedding Ceremony as Priest

1. THE SACRED RITE OF MARRIAGE;
As priests, we are called on to solemnise the journey together of two people in a lifelong commitment to love, support and cherish each other. Children born from the marriage will be brought up in stability to learn lessons of love and family caring from their parents and each other. The third partner in each marriage is God the Creator, who blesses the love and union of the two partners. The partners will bring their children up to know the Lord Jesus Christ, and to learn the lessons of the Gospels from their personal examples, teaching and guidance. These are the lessons of love and caring; love and worship of God; respect for life and property of themselves and others;  truthfulness; respect for the bonds of marriage.

2. A NATURAL INSTITUTION
Marriage is a practice common to all cultures in all ages. It is thus a natural institution, a practice common to all humanity. In its most ideal form, marriage is meant to be a lifelong union of love, mutual sharing and trust; a relationship of safety and loving acceptance, which proves a rock to each partner in each of the little storms that mark life on earth.

Marriage by its nature is an exclusive contract made in public as a sign of commitment by both partners. Jesus attended weddings and enjoyed the festivities as He witnessed the public commitment of two people to one another. He blessed the married couple at Cana with His first public miracle at the encouragement of His mother Mary (John 2;11). Jesus also affirmed that a marriage bond is a sacred bond which should be respected by all, affirming that God Himself blesses the union of two people who declare their intent to show love and respect for each other in union;  Jesus said, 'Have you not read that the Creator from the beginning made them male and female, and that he said; This is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and the two become one flesh? They are no longer two, therefore, but one flesh. So then, what God has united, human beings must not divide.' (Matthew 19;4 - 6).

3. WHO DOES THE MARRYING?
The two partners perform the marriage rite because their pledge for a lifelong committed relationship forms the marriage contract itself. The priest or person performing the rite is the witness to this marriage contract. The priest is the representative of the blessing of God's grace on the union. So therefore matrimony is a holy rite, officiated in Christian churches by a priest, of uniting two partners. There is a legal aspect to the public marriage rite. Find out what the rulings for an officiant or celebrant of a wedding is in your area, and follow the same. You may need to undergo training as a marriage registrar which would give you the legal right to officiate at weddings in your area.

4. THE IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE
God Himself in the early witness of the Bible affirmed in inspired teaching that 'It is not good that man should be alone.' (Genesis 2;18). Woman was thereafter created as companion. Thus  men and women had loving companions to help them through the natural stresses and strains of daily life, and lifelong friends in marriage. The union of marriage was also blessed by the c0-creation of children to form families, a bedrock of stability in an ever changing world. In the ideal state, families form loving relationships of stability and strength, supporting each other in difficult circumstances at all times.

5. THE IMPORTANCE OF MONOGAMY
Christianity affirms that monogamy is important. In practical terms, the anguish in emotional terms caused to one partner when another partner is not monogamous, together with the possibility of health risk is strong argument for this basic understanding. The understanding refers back to the ten basic rules for ideal human behaviour as given by God the Creator to Moses the great Prophet;
'You shall not commit adultery.' (Exodus 20; 14).

6. THE VENUE FOR THE SACRED RITE
The sacred rite of marriage is popularly celebrated in a church or chapel. The church/chapel is a house of God, and symbolises the invitation of the couple to God to bless their union in a special way. God is thus honoured in their eyes through their commitment to each other.

7. THE ENGAGEMENT
It is a sensible practice for the two partners to have a time of getting to know each other before undertaking the step of marriage. This time is called engagement; formerly this time could also be called the betrothal. This is a good time to explore the other's thoughts, core values and ideas about marriage.

8. THE CEREMONY OF MARRIAGE
As a priest, you will have the honour of celebrating the ceremony where the two partners declare their intention to form a lifelong union in marriage. Appropriate dress for the wedding ceremony as priest is worn, such as a minister's robe, and a wedding stole. Different stoles may be suitable; one often chosen is a white stole with gold embroidery.

The church or place of marriage will be clean and prepared for the wedding and wedding guests. Flowers may have been placed there beforehand as a symbol of the celebratory aspect of the rite. The partners will have organised wedding rings which will form a part of the rite, when they put a ring on each other's hand as a symbol of their contract newly made. Music, songs and hymns can form part of the wedding ceremony.

A reading from the Gospels is a fitting way to remind the two partners of the sacred nature of the contract they are undertaking, such as the reading from St. Matthew (19; 1 - 6). The Bible is usually in a place of honour at a Christian marriage rite.

A lovely symbol at a wedding is to have a large white candle (popularly known as the Easter candle) symbolising Jesus Christ on the altar in the church. The two partners can light the candle from two tapers which they hold. This symbolises that their individual lives have both lit and merged in commitment of union with each other in Jesus Christ. This action is also a reminder to the couple that a loving couple should glorify Jesus Christ in all they do, manifesting His greatness to others. The Lord's Prayer is always prayed at a Christian wedding rite.

9. MARRIAGE IS A SACRED RITE
A sacred rite is a visible sign of an invisible reality. Matrimony is a sacred rite, and as such it is a sign to all of the invisible God living in our midst - the living God Who bears fruit in the lives of two people. A loving couple is a continual sign of His Power in our communities. There is special grace and power within every couple God has joined together. Everything they do individually or together, is living out the sacred nature of their marriage. The normal actions of marriage - such as cleaning the house, going to work, planning the budget together to run their household or assist each other and children- have power hidden within them to make them holy. Married life is the ground of becoming whole, of learning holiness - being whole in God. Love is the seed planted by God in the ground of the marriage. Life together with all its ups and downs for the married couple act as growth for the young marriage which has been blessed by God.

10. DIFFERENCES IN TEMPERAMENT
Differences in temperament are often a factor in a marriage. Temperaments can cause clashes within a marriage; yet it is these very differences and learning how to deal with them that cause growth in maturity and mutual harmony in each partner. God blesses the partners who reach out to Him in prayer in dealing with each new challenge a marriage can bring.  In the life of every married couples, there should be a continual building of the sacred rite. Since a sacred rite brings God's Presence to us in a special way, God's Presence in their sacred rite of marriage should be an ongoing living experience. The couple should ideally place themselves before God in a daily encounter of love and need. Praying together as a couple at least once or twice a day before God is a great support in a marriage.

Marriage is a living sacred rite, and should be looked upon by each partner with a sense of devotion for each other and the sacred rite. The priest is there to counsel and assist when a partner or the partners run into a difficulty in their marriage. Therefore training and a qualification in pastoral counselling is important for a good priest to have.

11. HOW TO CONDUCT A WEDDING CEREMONY AS PRIEST
BOOKS BY REV. AMY E. LONG
Different books which can be easily purchased from reputable Church bookstores give good Wedding Ceremonies which the priest can use to conduct the ceremony. A marvellous book to help the planning of a wedding ceremony is 'The Ultimate Wedding & Ceremony Workbook For the Planning-Impaired' by Rev. Amy E. Long. This book contains a step by step plan for weddings and ceremonies for the priest and can be ordered - along with ministerial needs such as stoles, from www.ulcseminary.org
Rev. Amy's book 'Weddings, Funerals and Rites of Passage - Sample Ceremonies for Celebrants, Officiants and Ministers' provide training on weddings. This book can also be ordered from www.ulcseminary.org
There are also courses for the priest in the seminary in which you can enrol if wished. Reverend Amy Long has a video on Youtube for Ministerial wedding training, under the title;
ULC Minister Wedding Training - United Life Church
This offers guidance for the priest in how to conduct a wedding, and is especially helpful for your first wedding ceremony as officiant.

Photograph was taken by Rev. Catherine. Please feel free to use copyright free for any Christian, educational or spiritual purpose.