MANY FAMILIES ARE FACED WITH THE SITUATION OF A DEVASTATED GRAVE
OF A LOVED ONE.
In many areas burial grounds have been devastated by robbing of statues,
vandalism of graves and headstones,
pulling down of crucifixes,
smashing of glass and
ripping off of portraits
and affixed names.
Other instances include the removal of small caskets of ashes from Walls of Remembrance, emptying of ashes onto the ground,
and the theft of caskets.
If you are faced with this difficult situation,
what can you do? There are two options:
first, to leave the grave in the state
in which it has been left. This can prove distressing for those who wish
to pay their respects to their loved ones.
to pay their respects to their loved ones.
This approach also does not befit
the dignity of the holy place of rest.
the dignity of the holy place of rest.
A second option is to institute a
small memorial fund among
family members. It is both
comforting and pro-active
to ensure that just prior to
the anniversary of the loved
one's birth into heaven,
and on All Saints and All Souls Day
- the 1st November and 2nd November respectively annually -
the grave is made both tidy
and beautiful.
1. Visit the gravesite with a number of family members and friends: numbers ensure safety
2. Clean away all glass: don't pick the pieces up with your bare hands. Ensure the glass shards are picked up with e.g. a metal implement and placed into an impermeable container. Ensure appropriate disposal according to local health and safety guidelines
3. Be careful to observe closely for any syringes, needles or drug paraphernalia. Be careful to avoid needlestick injury. Ensure these are disposed of by the proper authorities according to health and safety guidelines
4. Clear weeds away from the graves
5. Trim obscuring brambles or tree branches from the grave area. Ensure you remain within local municipal bylaws
6. Purchase another statue to grace the grave, if the original grave has been stolen. Affix the statue to the memorial according to guidelines and health and safety rules
7. If pictures or affixed lettering have been torn away and are no longer present, employ the services of a professional stone engraver and have your loved one's name and information lettered direct into the headstone
8. As a community, liaise with the responsible authorities in order to restore all pushed down crucifixes and disrespected religious items to their correct place. If any have been smashed, organize replacement as appropriate. Repair what can be repaired. It is appropriate for family members to repair their family grave. It is helpful to offer assistance and support to other families in the same predicament within the cemetary
9. Throw away all old flowers, and discard broken plastic flower containers
10. Ensure the grass in the area [if any] is well trimmed
11. Request guidance from a trusted and worthy priest as how best to restore a Wall of Remembrance. A new casket can be purchased, blessed, and ashes reinterred.
Thereafter - keeping in mind that the devastation and vandalism of a grave cannot remove the sacred blessing a priest placed on the grave during the burial service - you may wish to have a service of reconciliation.
The service of reconciliation may be led by a family member, priest or deacon. Shake holy water over the grave, and stand as a small community around the restored grave in order to pray and sing with reverence and remembrance
RITE FOR RECONCILING A
PROFANED GRAVE/CEMETARY:
INTRODUCTION
An opening song may be sung or one of the following
verses may be recited.
"There shall be no more death or mourning, crying out or
pain, for the world that was passed away. "(Revelation
2:14)
After the song or verse, all make the sign of the
cross, as they pray:
All: Amen.
Leader: May the Father of mercies, and the God of all consolation, be with us all.
All: Amen
Leader: Let us pray. Almighty and ever living God, source of mercy and forgiveness, You sent Your Son into the world, not to condemn it but to save it.
Hear our prayers for Your servant(s) N. (and N.) who rests (rest) in this grave.
Grant him/her/them the fullness of life You promised to all who believe in You.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
All: Amen
SCRIPTURAL READING
John 14: 1-6
' “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; believe also in me.
In my Father’s house there are many mansions. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place I am going.”
Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me." '
INTERCESSIONS
Leader: "We believe that Christ is the resurrection and the life. With confidence, let us turn to Him, as we pray together."
All: "Risen Lord, hear us."
Leader: "Christ, Son of the Living God, raise up our beloved dead and lead them to the fellowship of Your saints, we pray. "
All: "Risen Lord, hear us. "
Leader: "Christ our Savior, in Your love and mercy welcome into Your glory our departed relatives and friends, we pray. "
All: "Risen Lord, hear us."
Leader: "Christ, our Redeemer, who died on the cross for our sake, bring all who sleep with the sign of faith to Your kingdom of light and peace, we pray. "
All: "Risen Lord, hear us."
Leader: "Christ, Consoler of those who mourn, give us hope that one day we will be reunited with those we love, we pray. "
All: "Risen Lord, hear us."
Silence may follow for personal prayer
or reflection.
Leader: "Lord Jesus Christ, You willingly gave Yourself up to death, that all might be saved and pass from death to life.
Grant that our beloved N. may rejoice in the vision of Your glory."
All: "Amen."
PRAY THE OUR FATHER, THE
HAIL MARY AND THE GLORY BE
CONCLUSION
Leader: "Loving Father, You saved us through the death and resurrection of Your son.
Listen our prayers for Yours sons and daughters. In Your love and mercy count them among Your saints. We ask this through Christ our Lord. "
All: "Amen."
Leader: "Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord."
All: "And let perpetual light shine upon them."
Leader: "May they rest in peace."
All: "Amen."
Leader: "May the souls of the departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. "
All: "Amen."
Leader: "And may Almighty God bless us all: The Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit."
All: "Amen."
The Litany of the Saints may be recited.
http://churchinterfaith.blogspot.ie/2016/10/litany-of-saints.html
A Concluding song may be sung.
On All Saints Day and All Souls Day the family may wish to have a mass celebrated as they remember - and pray for - for their loved ones.
An example of a devotional service may be found at
http://churchinterfaith.blogspot.ie/2014/11/worship-all-saints-and-all-souls.html
A recently restored family grave and clearing of the signs of vandalism brought much peace to a family.
Upon their return some days later in order to hold the rite of reconciliation, a wondrous site met their eyes: other families had also fixed the final resting places of their loved ones, and on each grave rested a fresh bouquet of flowers.
It was a quiet and dignified moment. Despite the disrespect inherent within the vandalism, love and devotion had triumphed. Nothing permanent marred the resting place of their loved one.
The family have made the policy decision that every year, without fail, they will ensure the upkeep of the grave.
If the statue is stolen again, it will be replaced.
If the headstone is vandalised once more, it will be repaired.
And prayer is offered regularly for conversion of heart of those who were responsible for the disrespect of the graves.
Prayer resource for conversion of heart
http://churchinterfaith.blogspot.ie/2016/10/prayer-for-another-for-conversion.html
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